Ariel Riveros Pavez
10 September 2015 ·
This updated was posted to Only Me til today.
Apokatastasis - ergodicity.
Anxiety response and impatience - correlation. eg "I must write this X down before I forget it." The imperative is because of the feared consequence of forgetting. The feared consequence of forgetting are developing alzheimers, any neurodegenerative condition, therefore becoming institutionalised, suffering, vegetative, dead. mortality pain and reflection on projected vegetative condition. one insight I've had is the deluded belief that if I project something I am contributing to working myself to the projected image-condition. I thought I would be run over in St Peters - didn't happen. I've thought I'd die at the age of 70 on the salsa dancefloor. hasn't happened. I posited in a poem I would die in 10 years of the writing of the poem.
Evidently I have such history of death ideations. I don't want to die per se yet I imagine the death scenario. imagination of scenarios - to be put to positive use. write theatre. write out death scenarios...."i forgot to fear forgetting"
traumatic memory - childhood. seeing a graphic icon representation of madness. it was side-on face drawn with the skin of the head in a spiralled potato-peel-off. I can see the image. pink coloured face, light coloured blue background square frame. it's kept with me. trauma and subsequent obsession
[Thank you Verity La, deep down the rabbit hole ]